The other night, my wife and I were in the kitchen. She finally noticed the small box of Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts I’d snuck into the shopping cart at the last minute. She opened the box, pulled out one of the silver packets, tore it open, lifted out one of the Pop-Tarts…and bit it.
“What are you doing?” I said. “That’s not how you eat a Pop-Tart.”
She didn’t respond because she was chewing.
“It’s called a Pop-Tart for a reason,” I said. “You drop it in a toaster and, when it’s done, it pops up.”
She told me they were just as good at room temperature, then she bit off another chunk.
Okay, here’s one of my quirks: I’m a rule-follower.
- Don’t open a board game you’re only kind of familiar with and start playing. You know it’s not going to make sense at some point. So read the rules first!
- If you have the right-of-way at an intersection, don’t be polite and wave me on, because when I finally trust you and start inching forward, and you inch forward because it took me so long to trust you, we’re in a mess. You should’ve just gone. You had the right-of-way!
- And Pop-Tarts should be toasted!
But my wife is smart. She knows me. So she checked the directions on the box. And as she handed me the box, her lips slid into a very one-sided smile.
While Kellogg’s Pop-Tarts are fully baked and ready-to-eat right from the pouch, if you prefer them warmed, please follow these instructions:
If you prefer them warmed???
Okay, maybe they’re good “right from the pouch” (though I refuse to try them that way…they’re not called Pouch-Tarts). But does anyone else find it odd that “if you prefer them warmed” is mentioned after eating them at room temperature?
Either way, before my wife checked the directions, we made a little wager. So if I don’t immediately respond to your e-mails or phonecalls this week, I’m probably cleaning the bathrooms.