Tuesday, December 11, 2012


This post is about angel farts and Christmas carols (and unless angels expel Christmas tunes, they're not the same thing).

Last week, I asked people on Twitter and Facebook Twitter to respond to two prompts. The first prompt:

Favorite Christmas carol. And why. And...go!

37 songs were represented. Tying for 2nd place were Carol of the Bells, Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, and O Holy Night. I especially love O Holy Night, but my personal favorite is also the one selected by the most number of you.

The second prompt was:

This is important.
I need to know the sound and scent of an angel fart.

Some people questioned the importance, but I'm someone who believes laughter is very important...so don't question it! (But yes, some of the following suggestions may make it into a future book.)

One person offered a beautiful response: "Only true believers in angels can smell and hear their farts."
Two people contradicted each other while discussing the inner-workings of angels: "Depends on what they eat." "They don't fart, because they don't eat."
One person offered an explanation for an absence of sound and smell: "It sneaks up on you - you don't hear or smell it. You sense it. It's mysteriously wonderful. Not a bad thing at all. And then...something really good happens."
One person suggested that I ask David Boreanaz.
And two people claimed angelic reasons for their first-hand knowledge:
Annette Curtis Klause: "I'll be right on over to demonstrate."
Lisa Albert: "Give me a few minutes and I'll get back to you."

True to her word, a few minutes later, Lisa returned: "Okay...I'm back... It sounded like the coo of a dove and smelled like Angel Food Cake mixed with Love's Baby Soft. Do you need to know what I sleep on, too? Fallen eyelashes and feathers."
Here are some other answers left by the weirdos on Facebook and Twitter:
Adele; wind chimes; they're silent; trumpets (if explosive); harps (if a gentle, long release); a baby’s sigh; poof; bells chiming; pfft; a gentle bell chime; a foghorn; a sigh; a harp arpeggio; crackling bacon; a gentle breeze whistling through trees; Rice Krispies; bird wings flapping; an A minor chord; a high C; A B flat; a delicate soap bubble pop; Celine Dion

Celine Dion; honey roses; gingerbread; cotton candy; vanilla; vanilla mint; pine with a hint of vanilla; chocolate chip cookies; fresh baked sugar cookies; sweet and puffy marshmallow; whipped cream; nutmeg; sand tart cookies (her sister calls them “angel turds”); a sulfur blast; fresh rain; that ion-y smell just before it rains; rainbows; baby powder; the gardens of heaven; just heavenly; church (lemon floor polish and wine); fresh linen; fabric softener; lavender; like the moment you first step into Sephora; crackling bacon; White Cloud perfume; donuts; marshmallow crème frosted chocolate cupcakes; wood smoke on a winter night; frankincense; poo

And now you know!


m. christine weber said...

Hahahaha! Okay,"crackling bacon" is by far the best (and most accurate) response. ;0)

jazzy said...

David Bowie!!!!!!!! Definitely enough said xxx