Introducing: The Slinkie Jim

I recently purchased a box of 100 Slim Jims because I assumed they'd be snatched up like that at an event I was attending. But by the end of the evening, I found myself the owner of 97 individually wrapped Slim Jims.

What to do...

There are so many stories about great food combinations that came about by happy accident. You've all heard the legend of the ice cream cone, right? An ice cream vendor suddenly ran out of bowls, but it didn't take long before a nearby waffle vendor came to his rescue.

So why not combine the sweet and spicy/salty goodness of two food-like substances which already seemed geometrically made for each other: Twinkies and Slim Jims!


(Note: When experimenting with food-like substances, always check the "Best if used by" date to make sure the flavors are as fresh as possible. Of course, if the packaging doesn't include a year, then you're always good to go!)


When constructing your Slinkie Jim, start with just one. You never know how your particular stomach will react.


Since Twinkies are symmetrical, it doesn't matter into which end you decide to stick your Slim Jim.


It may be difficult to push it in at first, but don't give up.


But if the Twinkie begins to split...STOP!!!


Surrounded by white cream and a golden sponge cake, the Slim Jim will no longer Snap! when you bite into it, so don't expect that familiar sensation. Remember, a Slinkie Jim is its own unique food-like product.


If you can stomach it, go ahead and try another bite (just in case that first taste was a fluke).


And if you don't believe in throwing food away (even if it's simply food-like), you may as well eat the rest.


But don't eat any more than that.

Don't!

Instead, run your greasy face under a faucet and do a strenuous 30-minute workout. Because seriously, what in the world were you thinking???